I found God,
there in the desert;
I was cycling in circles,
when he called.
A bell rang out
across the mesa
I grabbed the phone;
His voice was small.
He said, my son,
what were you doing
out on your bike
in this dark night?
Just circling round and round,
I answered,
until I saw a neon light.
He laughed so softly,
and said to me,
my question was rhetorical;
I am your God,
the one you search for—
not metaphorical.
Hang up the line now,
ride far and straight
take my light with you,
it's getting late.
Kat Mortensen©2012
 |
| Photo by Sean "Epic" Mahoney |
Excellent response to the prompt. The last couple of verses really made me smile! I love your background music, too...so nice. A real pleasure to stop by here today :-)
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you, Doctor L! I'm so pleased you like it.
DeleteAnd, the music is from the video for my book. I have now moved it to the book-ordering page, so it is not a distraction.
I love your response to the prompt, Kat. Your phrasing and rhyming scheme create an engaging word flow. Taking the light through the desert is both powerful and fulfilling. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your thorough reading of it Linda. You always give me a great boost!
DeleteEnjoyed that, Kat. And sound too! Cool.
ReplyDeleteHello, Titus! Nice to see you here! Thanks, and I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
DeleteKat, this is cool :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, ayala.
DeleteWhat a marvelous response to the prompt. Powerful and yet also fun.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it, Jeannette!
DeleteAwesome response! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Carrie!
DeleteI’m so glad he ‘saw the light’! I liked the rhythms of this.
ReplyDeleteYes, me too! I was inspired to write it.
Deletewow...this feels so...right
ReplyDeletelike a needed sip or a pat on a shoulder...thanks
Peace
You are most welcome! Thank YOU!
DeleteIt is a wonderful verse. I like what you said and what God said to the biker.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Larry! I'm glad you liked it.
Deletenice one Kat....thanks for sharing your words again
ReplyDeleteThanks very much, Wayne! You're most welcome.
DeleteLike it. Spot on. It seems we were thinking in parallel. Not metaphorical, but what about metaphysical?
ReplyDeleteThat's the one! You know when you have those days where your brain says, "what's that word?" I was having one of those.
DeleteI grappled with the term, "born again" for a good 10 minutes!
I've made the change. Thank you.
Terrific
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sandy!
DeleteSorry for not being quick to respond to your comments, it was a busy weekend and then Monday was a holiday here, so I was away from the computer and out in the real world.
ReplyDeleteToday, I'm taking my senior mum to her eye-specialist in the city, so will be absent again, I'm afraid.
I'll catch up soon.
Thanks for reading and commenting,
Kat
Yes, bikes do need to take a light with them too, as well as the biker! LOL :)
ReplyDeleteVery true, Jinksy. Very true.
ReplyDeleteYes... He will lead us down the straight and narrow if we just keep following that light. Love this!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you love it, Laurie!
DeleteA beautiful pace that just flows.. Wonderful ending..to keep the light.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lyn. It was Holy Ghost-written, I think.
DeleteVery cool Kat! This is great!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it, Mary. Thanks for reading.
DeleteHey, I wasn't meaning to correct the poem! I actually thought it was fine as it was. Just looking beyond it - but, yes, I do know those moments: only too well. Actually, they're joining up to form days just at present.
ReplyDeleteI've changed it back now, because this morning (around 5:00) I was feeling disturbed by the fact that it no longer rhymed. I toyed with the word "categorical", but it doesn't seem to work.
DeleteI respect your opinion, Dave. I think you were on to something there, and that's why I didn't hesitate to make the change, but I just can't reconcile that lack of rhythm.
Oh I love this interpretation of the prompt.......love the friendly fatherly voice of God.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sherry. I'm really glad that the voice of God is a welcome element.
DeleteOh yeah! LOVE this Kat...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tess! Couldn't have written it without your prompt.
DeleteKat, I cant find an email for you - would you please e me at WildWoman2@shaw.ca ? Thanks, kiddo!p.s. in dealing with these new word verification thingies I prove I'm not a robot every time because robots dont cuss! hee hee.
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry, Isn't my e-mail in my profile?
DeleteI'm not fond of the verification things - they are brutal to read, especially with bifocals!
Absolutely perfect!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Tumblewords.
DeleteLove the picture!!
ReplyDeleteGood job!!
:)~
HUGZ
Thanks, T-bear! Glad you liked it.
Delete