You always knew that you would make it;
One day you'd be there on that wall.
They think you're fine; I know you fake it;
You hoodwink them, but don't fool me at all.
Just think! I was the one who loved you,
Who nightly held you in the dark.
Look at me now— the one you outgrew,
With your ambition, your great need to leave a mark.
Hey! How's it feel to be the idol
Who hawks the wares out on the street?
I'll never share your efforts, suicidal
Or sell out to a scandal sheet.
So close those eyes, no need to pin me
With that commanding look of old.
One time your face could always win me;
Now this facade just leaves me cold.
Kat Mortensen©2012
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| Image adapted from original by Sarolta Ban
This post is prompted by the above photo which was posted at The Mag. Please visit the link to read other fine reflections on this image.
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The emotion, the rhyme, I love it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liza! It is a quite emotional piece, isn't it?
DeleteOh very well done! And, as the reader reads and scrolls down and the image appears it's very powerful. I think more effective than having the picture first. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI like to do that each time, Mary. I want the impact of the poem prior to the picture. Thank you!
DeleteLoved this!
ReplyDeleteAnd good for him that he's gotten over it!
(uh...maybe.......)
;)
Mimi, you are very perceptive.
DeleteThe last four lines did it for me... amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laurie. I wanted to end with a bang.
DeleteHow sad that love got in the way of ambition, instead of both partners supporting each other.(I loved when Meryl Streep won her Oscar and had such high praise for her life partner) I liked the voice in your poem, Kat. Strong sentiments expressed. Happy they can move on.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda. We'll never know for sure.
DeleteAnnoyance, disdain- and potential savagery...
ReplyDeleteyes indeed not to be crossed, lightly-
Always the potential, but I think he's being truthful about not causing her harm.
DeleteSounds like he is getting a fair go these days, !, powerful
ReplyDeleteHe's better off without her, eh? Thanks for reading Kutamun!
DeleteVery good poem!
ReplyDeleteWander
http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com
Thanks! I appreciate that.
DeleteIt has a film noir, hardboiled feel too it. Great! :)
ReplyDeleteI forgot you're a Film Noir afficionado. Yes! I think it was the fedora that actually inspired that bent.
Deletetight poem Kat
ReplyDeleteThank you, oh Man of few words!
DeleteLove it, Kat.
ReplyDeleteI hear the voice so clearly it's almost as if I'd written it myself.
=)
Thanks, Sue! That's a great compliment!
DeleteDoth he protest too much? Great poem; the final couplets speak volumes. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou know it, ds! So glad you liked it.
DeleteKat
ReplyDeleteyou are better then ever!
Hi Ray! Nice to see you here, and thanks!
DeleteOne to be proud of!
ReplyDeleteIt took three trials to get the right voice on this one, Dave, but I'm happy with it now. Thanks!
DeleteThat’s one brave fella to stand up to that stare! Well captured.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nell! Yeah, it's pretty intimidating, isn't it?
DeleteNice one Kat!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I struggled with it, but it came together in the end.
DeleteVery nice -
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tumblewords.
DeleteTop marks for this one...
ReplyDeleteBut none at all for still having that dratted double word verification to plague our lives... :)
That is excellent! I really like the way you did this, a perfect companion to the photo.
ReplyDelete(Pity about the word verification, though.)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAh! I didn't get it this time so you obviously have succeeded! Woohoo!
ReplyDeleteWow, I bet that would describe the sentiments of many of the "exes" of the rich and famous! Not a problem I've ever or will ever have, one way or the other. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was as grand as the huge art print!
(Saw your word verification badge only minutes after finally finding out how to remove the darn thing from my own settings/comments. It took a half-hour at Google Help Forum. Thank goodness for nice people who leave descriptive help suggestions there!)
Me too, Lydia! I kept removing the "notification" and didn't want to do that. Finally figured out I needed to go to the old dashboard to take care of it. All done now.
DeleteGlad you liked the poem.
Kat
This is excellent, Kat--very seamless handling of the form & rhyme, you use both to move the voice along nicely. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It took a few trials to get what I wanted, but I was pleased with it in the end.
Delete